It Takes Two to Tango
I started ballroom dancing a few years ago. What started out as curious and new became an exciting way to exercise and have fun. In becoming proficient, I learned the intricacies of each move which was very different. One in particular was the Tango. It’s a very deliberate dance in which each partner is required […]
Tips for Parents to Minimize the Impact of Divorce on Young Children
Recently, I was speaking with an acquaintance who was in an unenviable position. She was faced with the decision of getting a divorce or, as she put it, “trying to stick it out and make it work for the kids.” In her mind, she had determined that the marriage was over and her husband felt […]
3 Quick and Simple Tips for Marketing Your Family Law Mediation or Collaborative Practice
Not that long ago I didn’t know the first thing about marketing myself and now, through a lot of trial and error and the opportunity to learn from some of the top pros in the field, I work with other mediation and collaborative professionals to help them build their practices and hone their marketing outreach. […]
The Power of Visual Aids When Working with Divorcing Couples
“I’m a visual thinker, not a language-based thinker. My brain likes Google Images.” – Temple Grandin Communication is a fundamental skill for all living beings and is a key to surviving and thriving in this complicated world. Broken down to its basic components, communication is not just the giving of information, but also the receiving […]
Authentic Empowerment as a Means to Practice Building
As a participant in one of the Mosten Guthrie Mediation Practice Building groups, I have reflected over the past year on my values in growing my peacemaking practice. Forrest (Woody) Mosten is the facilitator of this group, and I have learned an immense amount from him and the other participants. If you’ve attended any trainings […]
First, Do No Harm – Mediating Family Law Matters from Start to Finish
Lately I have been pondering the Hippocratic Oath, particularly the principle of “first, do no harm.” Hippocrates, an ancient Greek physician, is attributed with this foundational oath of ethics. As attorneys, while we may not necessarily think in terms of how legal wrangling may hurt people, it is undeniably a profession that is adversarial by […]
There is no such thing as a dragon.
My career as a divorce mediator has taught me many lessons, and my clients have become my greatest teachers. I have noticed that several of the same issues repeatedly lead couples to my office for divorce mediation. The pattern I have seen so often brings to mind the children’s book “There is no such thing […]
Three Ways to have a Child-Centered Divorce
More than a million children every year become part of divorced families. January is International Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month and a great opportunity to discuss some ways to have a Child-Centered Divorce. Children and their well-being are the entire reason I work as a family mediator, child-specialist and parenting coach. When I decided on […]
5 Things to Consider for a Peaceful and Healthy Divorce
For many of us, the New Year means a fresh start. Whether it’s improving eating habits, changing jobs or moving to a new place – we seem to have more courage and energy to eliminate the situations or activities that made us stagnant or downright miserable. If divorce is at the top of your list, […]
Three Ways To Put Yourself First When Divorcing
We can’t be good at the many roles we play, if we don’t put ourselves first. It isn’t being selfish, but being responsible. Never is it more important than when getting divorced. Three ways, explained in more detail below, are to take care of you, to imagine your future, and to choose a divorce process […]
5 Strategies to Transform Conflict in Business and Life
Humans are social creatures. We are hardwired for hyper-connectivity. We have a deep need to connect, collaborate, and be part of something larger than ourselves. This aspect of the human experience helps explain why so many relationships—personal and business—start out good, even great, and then get more challenging over time. At the beginning of any […]
How Automating Some of My Services Made Me a Better Mediator
By: Lesa Koski Have you ever tallied the time you spend doing nonbillable work? For over 20 years in the field as an attorney and mediator, I had a nagging feeling I was spending way more time on non-billables than billable. According to Statistics Research Dept., I am not alone. In fact, 75% of attorneys […]
3 Tips to Conquer the Fear and Overwhelm of Divorce
As a divorce and mediation coach I am often asked “what is the most important thing to know when going through a divorce?” My answer is always the same, the person that comes to the table with the most amount of knowledge and the least amount of emotion is most likely to have a divorce […]
How to Avoid Burnout and Find Passion in Your Professional Life
Do you ever have moments of reflection where you ask yourself – “how did I get here?” and “is this really what I am meant to be doing?” If you are like me, on the long days when that case you’ve been working on for months doesn’t turn out the way you planned, or that […]
Transitions and What Comes Next: Your New Venture
It seems there are so many things going on today that cause a person to pause and think to themselves, “Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life?.” More and more people are thinking about this question, and you may be one of them. I pondered this very same […]
Domestic Violence and Divorce Mediation: What You Need to Know
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and it is important to talk about an unfortunate fact that all divorce and family law mediators will encounter: domestic and intimate partner violence. Domestic violence is not obvious or easily recognized in most cases, but it is extremely common. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline more than 1 in […]
Confessions of a 40-Hour Training Junkie (Part Two)
Did you miss Confessions of a 40-Hour Training Junkie (Part One)? Click here to read it first! 5. Clear your schedule. Like marathons, 40 Hour Mediation Trainings (when done right) are intense, exhausting, all-consuming experiences that require serious focus and time. I learned the hard way how important it is to clear your professional and personal schedule […]
Confessions of a 40-Hour Training Junkie (Part One)
I’ll be the first to admit it. I am a 40-Hour Training Junkie. Let other people run their marathons. Show me a solid week of intensive, wall-to-wall learning, role plays, simulations, instruction, conversations, dialog, and camaraderie, and I’ll show you a happy Mediator. Last week, I completed the 40-Hour Divorce & Family Mediation Training at […]
Three Ways to Use Mediation to Prepare for Family Conflict
Mediation is a powerful tool that can help divorcing or separating families in conflict address issues and find agreements in unexpected and beneficial ways. Usually, a breakdown in relationships occurs when people fail to communicate with each other adequately. However, mediation can often help before conflicts even arise. A good mediator may help the clients […]
Benefits of Mediation Over the Divorce of Process and Litigation
Imagine you’ve finally made the tough decision to divorce your spouse. You hire a lawyer, pay a large deposit ($8,000 -$10,000) and start filing the paperwork: request for custody, visitation, child and spousal support. You sling all the mud about your spouse and air your dirty laundry in a pleading that is filed with the […]
Keep Children at the Center, Not the Middle, of Your Divorce
It was July of 2020 when I first decided to be a Full Time Mediator. I had just finished my last case in Family Court. My case settled after almost a decade. My client’s whole life was spent in Court – being brought to see her lawyer, the Judge, her therapist. Career as an Advocate […]
COVID, School and Co-Parenting
The pandemic has been hard on everyone, but it’s been especially hard on kids, parents and teachers. Raising kids is hard. Teaching is hard. Doing either one of those things is enough to make you lose your mind, just a little bit. But when you add in having to do those things at home, all […]
My Journey to Becoming A Peaceful Warrior
When I reflect on the year anniversary of my firm Claire Samuels Law, PLLC my heart is filled with gratitude and the peace that comes from building a practice that is authentic to who I am! As Danielle LaPorte said in her book the Fire Starter Sessions “Being genuine is the foundation of integrity – often inconvenient and not […]
How Can We Best Make and Maintain Quality Mediators?
This Blog Post is a a condensed version of Jim Melamed and Forrest (Woody) Mosten‘s article published in www.Mediate.com, January 2021 It was during late March 2020, soon after the pandemic first made global headlines, that a group of leading mediators and mediation trainers realized on a Zoom call that the ONLY mediation then taking place in […]